As I'm writing the last blog before I head to my temporary NYC home, it has dawned on me that I'm literally 3 days away from catching that plane. If you would have told me in January that I'd be going back to New York City, this time to pursue a fashion design career, I would have called you crazy. I was in a totally different mindset at the top of the year, then my grandfather passed only a little over a month into 2021. I felt there's just no way this year is going to turn around, it's starting off just like 2020. I continued to unpack my overwhelming grief with my therapist hoping that one day God would snap His fingers and take me away from all this depression and darkness. I dreaded my birthday (July 10th) this year because it reminded me that my Grandmother was no longer here. Then all of a sudden something filled my head and heart, telling me to look up fashion schools in NYC, so I did. I came across New York School of Design and it just felt right, so I applied. Before I was even accepted I found a cute little Air BnB for a great deal and booked it on faith. I had no idea if I would even be accepted into the program but I just knew I needed a BIG change in my life even if that meant just getting out of Texas for 3 months. Luckily, I GOT ACCEPTED!!!
You see, when God has His hand in the midst of something, things fall into place effortlessly. But when Satan gets in the midst it's total chaos. The closer and closer I got to September it seemed like Satan had his ugly hands all in my thoughts for why I shouldn't go. First, dang Hurricane Ida was headed straight toward Houston but then turned and devastated poor Louisiana. The kicker for me was, how in the WORLD does a hurricane that's headed for Houston end all the way up in NYC, the very place I'll be going in just a few short weeks?!?! So of course my thoughts start wandering to a depressing place thinking the absolute worst. "The Air BnB is probably flooded, the school won't be able to reopen for months", “blah”, “blah”, “blah”. But God. Everything was fine in both locations. The one year anniversary of my Grandmother's death came up on September 5th and that sent me spiraling into a bit of a depression. I worked and fought my way through that, NOW here I am writing this the day after Hurricane Nicholas just ripped through my town the week I'm supposed to be flying to NYC. I can't make this stuff up LOL! But guess what? I'm STILL going. BOOM!
I have to admit that I am a little nervous and axious about the unknown. I'll be in class with students with more (and possibly less) experience than I have and that can be a bit intimidating. But I'm heading to my first day of class with tunnel vision and razor shop focus on my end goal (more on that in a later blog post). I have a horrible habit of shifting my focus to others' talents and blessings and ultimately neglecting my own. What God has for me, and YOU, is for us so we have to stop allowing someone else's glory to intimidate or minimize our own. I have my Therapist and a new Life Coach ready and willing to help me through this journey. But I have the most important force that's with me EVERYWHERE I go.....God. He didn't bring me this far to fail. So as I close this blog out here in Houston, I'm excited to take you ladies and gentlemen with me to New York City where I prepare for the huge blessing God has waiting for me. So this is not Goodbye, this is Hello to a new and promising journey.
Thanks for Reading!
XOXO
~Sujuane~